The Top Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage

Between overscheduled social calendars, crippling financial demands and a major collective shortage of quality time, it’s almost no wonder that America’s divorce rate recently surpassed 50 percent. We live in a wedding-obsessed culture, yet more than half of people getting married today will be divorced before their 10th anniversary. It’s a seriously depressing statistic, but thankfully, one that we can change if we’re willing to put forth the effort.

It’s no secret that money and finances are often the biggest wedges in an otherwise happy marriage. In fact, seemingly small disagreements over budget can ultimately lead to giant feuds, and often separation.

Money is a hypersensitive issue, and a particularly tricky monster to tackle, especially within the delicate balance of love and marriage. That’s why it’s crucially important to reach a mutual understanding about money expectations before you walk down the aisle. And in the event that an unexpected expense pops up in the course of your marriage, seeking financial assistance from plaingreenloans can save you financially and personally. Even though you have a financial safety net, it’s important to straighten out these top three money and communication disasters that can ultimately threaten your happy marriage.

Confront the Little Things

You don’t mind when your fiancé or husband comes home with take-out for dinner, until he starts doing it three times a week. Even little issues like overspending on food or the occasional treat become huge obstacles if you’re not clear about your expectations from the very beginning.

It can be embarrassing to talk frankly about money at the start of your marriage, but those $10 take-out containers can add up to one giant credit card bill that you’ll be working to pay off for years.

 Honesty is the Best Policy – Really!

 Be honest – those brand new stilettos were not on sale! You lusted after them from afar for weeks, until you finally took the plunge and put them on your joint credit card.

Little white lies about spending can seem harmless, but if you’re using shared funds to impulse-buy, your significant other will eventually find out – and loose trust in your ability to budget.

 Lending to Family

Even if you and your partner are financially secure and confident in your future, lending spare cash to family or friends is a slippery slope right into financial ruin. Exercise your best character judgment when considering an interest-free loan to your loved ones, and don’t count on ever seeing that money returned.

Lending money without your husband or wife’s approval or consent is the quickest way to breed resentment within your marriage – so try to avoid any unnecessary financial stress!

Avoiding these nasty money-related pitfalls is a crucial step to improving your relationship, and ultimately, your lifelong marriage – but do you think we left anything off our list? Do you have any budget-related tips to share?

Could It Be an Eating Disorder? Help the One You Love

Toilette - Woman in front of a mirror 

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Everyone values beauty. We see beauty everyday: in nature, in art, in clothing, in people, and in ourselves. Everyone has a different idea of what they consider beauty to be, but many women aren’t happy with what they see in the mirror. Some will take their quest for beauty so far that it will lead to an eating disorder.

 

Is It Her? Is It You?

 

The National Eating Disorders Association estimates that over 10 million females have an eating disorder, and 40 percent are under 19. Could someone you know be among those millions? Know the signs:

 

She Could Be Anorexic If…

  • She’s preoccupied with food, calories, dieting, and weight, insomuch that they have become a primary concern;
  • She talks frequently about being fat, losing weight, or dissatisfaction with her body;
  • She refuses foods or entire groups and denies her hunger;
  • She fidgets with food on her plate, eats food in specific orders, or avoids mealtimes or situations involving food altogether.

She Could Be Bulimic If…

  • She exhibits the first two signs of anorexia;
  • She makes excuses to leave after a meal and goes into the bathroom soon after eating;
  • She exhibits indications of vomiting like bad breath and watery eyes;
  • You find laxatives or their wrappers;
  • She eats large amounts of food or is quickly hungry again after meals;
  • Her cheeks and jaws have become swollen or her teeth have discoloration or new damage.

 

Save a Life

 

If you think it’s an eating disorder, seek advice on ways to help; you could very well save a life. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; let your eyes see your beauty.

Summer Traditions: Strengthening the Family

DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES - FEBRUARY 07:  Ro...

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With summer fast approaching, it’s time for the end of school and for summer plans to begin. Many parents get bogged down by the summer. At first it’s great — a time for sleeping in and avoiding the day-to-day school routine that becomes monotonous of making school lunch, getting to the bus on time, and picking kids up at the end of the day.

It’s nice to have a break. The problem is that soon having the kids home all day becomes overwhelming. So what can you do? Try creating some summer traditions that keep the kids busy and happy and keep your house from being destroyed.

Local Activities

The first things to look for are some local activities. The best are ones that can be repeated over and over without your kids getting too bored. These could be things like zoos, water parks, amusement parks, museums, a local pool, and more. Where possible, look into buying season passes. These will typically save a lot of money, especially if you buy them before the season begins — around April.

Vacations and Trips

Another tradition that you can start with your family is taking trips that are further away. One of the best locations is a lake that isn’t too far away — probably one that takes only two to six hours to drive to — and rent a cabin. This could be something you do every summer whether for only a week or for a month or more.

What’s great about these activities is it’s a way for the family to bond while having a lot of fun.

Getting Your Loved One the Help They Need

The lower class too often falls through the cracks when it comes to healthcare and assistance with the elderly. Working class families rarely have the financial resources to provide the level of care a sick or aging parent or relative may need. As those medical expenses pile up, the situation can become overwhelming for the caretakers and the person in need. With just a small amount of information and direction, you can start getting your loved one the help they need.

When you take that aging parent to the doctor, look for brochures in the waiting room. Many human services agencies will place these in places that are frequented by the elderly. If you don’t see anything in the waiting room itself, ask the receptionist if they keep brochures in the back. Sometimes, an office will do that to keep the public area neat. Depending on your needs for your family member, you’ll likely find some kind of little booklet or brochure that will give you the direction you need.

Medicare and Medicaid have little publications that help answer questions and offer advice. Another excellent resource is Caring Connections. They publish little booklets that discuss everything from caring for someone with Alzheimer’s to understanding Medicare benefits. If you don’t find these booklets in the doctor’s office, go to a free community health fair. One of the many vendors will have them, and they’re free. Health fairs are another great resource for the lower classes because they often offer free health screenings that can detect problems before they become serious. No matter what, seek the free advice and help that’s offered.

Superhero Costume Party Ideas for Kids

Kids love to pretend to be their favorite superheroes from popular movies and TV shows. Parents are able to use this interest by hosting a costume party for their child for the next birthday, holiday or Halloween. At this party, the children can dress up in various superhero costumes, using their imaginations and creative play to have fun.

If you are considering throwing a superhero costume party, consider purchasing one (or more) of these popular kids costumes for party attendees.

Batman/Superman/Spiderman/Ironman

Batman, Superman, Ironman and Spiderman costumes have been popular for a number of years. Kids love the ability to dress up as these superheroes and pretend to save the day. The recent movies with these characters have just added to their popularity.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Kids have a fascination with dressing up as pirates. The Pirates of the Caribbean movies have intensified this swash-buckling desire. Pirate costumes are sure to be a hit at any child’s costume party.

Harry Potter

Kids love to pretend that they have the ability to wield magic and save the world from emanate destruction. The Harry Potter franchise has provided children with the types of costumes to allow them to pretend to be wizards like the young protagonist of the wizarding world.

Power Rangers

Children love the ability to dress up as Power Rangers and use their karate skills to save the day. The TV show of the same name has made these costumes popular.

All of these kids costumes can be found for purchase online, at arts and craft stores, or party supply stores.

Getting Back to Basics

Breathe, relax, breathe, let it come through. 

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The world we live in today is full of materialism and the never-ending need for things. Television is full of programs to show you what to wear, what to buy and how you should be decorating your home. Internet sites that focus on shopping and product reviews give easy access to getting anything you could possibly want or need. But are these things in your life really helping to make life better for you?

By focusing on materialistic goods the most important parts of life are being overlooked. Relationships with partners and children take a backseat to shoving kids in front of the television or pawning them off with expensive toys. By simplifying your life you can get back to working on what means the most.

Getting back to basics is simple. Turn off the television. Take the family outside and and participate in an activity together that doesn’t rely on material goods to entertain. Have meaningful conversations over dinner. You’ll find by making room for simple communication and bonding activities your home life will become richer and your relationships more satisfying.

Simplifying your life can be difficult for those who are deeply ingrained in their habits. You can get started with an introduction to minimalism with websites such as Zen Habits. Perusing the tips in these articles you can get advice on bringing your family closer together and working on individual happiness while minimizing the need for material things.

Minimizing your reliance on material goods and focusing on human relationships will bring your family closer than ever before and help you focus on the health and wellness of yourself and your family.

 

Lifestyle and Traditions for BFF’s

Urban Outfitters in Pasadena, California 

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My best friend and I graduated WAY back in 1975.  We weren’t materialistic – we were downright POOR.  My father was a mechanic with Multiple Sclerosis.  At that time, the handicapped were hired and fired at a company’s leisure, as there were no laws to protect them.  My father was unemployed much of the time.

My friend’s father was a struggling middle-class photographer.  We both lived in the heart of Cleveland, our families derived from generations of ethnic settlers.  Back then, second generations were terribly happy to embrace the American habits and lifestyle.  They spoke only English, denying any of their forefathers’ language barriers and perceived eccentricities.

Fast-forward nearly forty years later.  My friend is vastly successful and quite wealthy.  I live in a Cleveland Suburb and work for her part-time.  Last week, she had a couple of extra seats and a hotel room for a trip to Savannah, Georgia. Yes, I swallowed my pride, and yes, we joined her.

Probably the culmination of our differences occurred when she insisted on taking her daughter to Urban Outfitters.  I told her I would meet her after I was done shopping at Goodwill.  No, I am not desperately poor, but I love treasure-hunting. Have we grown?  Have we strayed?  Is she materialistic and am I rebellious?  For these questions, I do not have the answer.  Yet, our friendship has thrived throughout the years.  Our lifestyles are vastly different, yet they remain critically the same.  In the end, it is our relationships that matter.  And to that, I am forever grateful…..

A BEAUTIFUL LIFESTYLE

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 18:  Model Cheryl T... 

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I remember my guidance counselor in high school telling me, “Look, you know boys won’t be breaking down your door, so concentrate on your studies…”

Mom was not a whole lot more encouraging.  I was pretty much advised to study, as that might be my only advantage in later years.  Well, I won’t say I proved them wrong, but I did go on to break a few hearts.

As far as studying, in grade school, I was unpopular and lazy and almost broke the door down every afternoon to studyDark Shadows” on the tube.  Everybody watched this daily horror-drama, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. My textbooks lay unopened, and, all the while, glamorous and trusty teen magazines got me through.  I’d look at the pages and dream…..

A blonde and beautiful Cheryl Tiegs we would never be, but my friends and I faithfully studied her every pose. We bicycled to each other’s houses, huddled in our rooms, diligently deciding what we would become.

In our generation, and in our ethnic neighborhood, darkly beautiful women had yet to exist.  Three of us faced the world together: my best friend and I vividly displayed our ethnic Italian descent, and our other compadre was an exotic Korean lass.

Our sense of self-worth was in hiding, but we had our friendships, our relationships, and our goals.  Hillary Clinton had yet to blossom, and so did our infant personalities.  Oprah wasn’t doing book reviews, wasn’t dating Stedman, and was not yet a billionaire.

In 1975, we graduated. My best friend’s mother says we were beautiful.  We had the world ahead of us, fresh dreams and a sunny outlook. We would have wonderful careers and oodles of boyfriends.  My own mother could not find me, for I was in the bushes kissing all my male fellow graduates goodbye.

 

RETAIL THERAPY AND BLACK FRIDAY

Black Friday (1940 film) 

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What the heck is “Black Friday”?

I remember a couple of decades ago when the Dow Jones dropped hundreds and hundreds of points.  The year was actually 1987. We were at work, and several individuals were approaching retirement.   This was prior to the Internet era, so I assume someone heard an announcement on the radio.  People began to wander about appearing dumbfounded.  Many claimed that they had just “lost their retirement”. Work literally came to a halt.

The news was big: stock markets around the world had apparently crashed.  This was truly a significant and somewhat horrifying event.

Being fairly young at that time, I did not identify with or appreciate the severity of what had just occurred.  It was sort of like the day JFK died – you remembered where you were when you received the news and exactly what you were doing….

Later in time, that particular Friday was referred to as “Black Friday”.  I am scouring my mind and I truly remember that this was definitely a Friday……

Fast-forward a couple of decades and check your Inbox.  What do you see?  “Black Friday Sale”.  A couple of years ago, the second meaning of this term was born post-holiday, and referred to huge store-wide sales events, (usually the day after Thanksgiving).

Now, apparently, Black Friday can occur on any Friday of the week.  It is an excuse for some heavy retail therapy, both online and in the store. New computers and designer handbags cannot wait in retail limbo without being purchased.

Ads and deals and shopping seasons:  apparently, we never learn.

Irish Traditions

Most families and cultures have traditions that have been imparted from previous generations. While some traditions are alive and strong, others simply fade away with new generations. If you’re of Irish decent, odds are that you and your family participate in some Irish traditions, but if some traditions haven’t been carried on, consider bringing them back to encourage family bonding and cultural reverence. Typical Irish traditions are centuries old and have been passed down through the generations. Here’s a look at a few Irish traditions.

St. Patrick’s Day Traditions

March 17 is St. Patrick’s Day, a holiday celebrated in many different countries. The Irish, like others, celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by wearing green and shamrocks, drinking green beer and attending festivities and parades. However, the Irish also view St. Patrick’s Day as a religious holiday. Most Irish Christians go to church on St. Patrick’s Day and will spend the remainder of the day surrounded by family. They typically celebrate the day with an elaborate roasted dinner, much like a Sunday roast.

Traditional Irish Weddings

Like in traditional weddings, Irish brides dress in white, but the grooms typically wear a kilt that touts his family’s tartan. During the ceremony, the couple holds hands—left in left and right in right, with their wrists crossed. A ribbon is then tied around their wrists; this action is thought to be where the phrase “tying the knot” originated from.

Traditional Irish Wakes and Funerals

As with traditional wakes and funerals, mourning deaths is a time to be close to loved ones. One particular tradition that the Irish have is to open a window after a death. The Irish believe this is allows the spirit of the deceased to exit the house.